Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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