Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops