What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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dat shoe shine tho

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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