What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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