Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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