"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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