How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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