Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops