Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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