roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Tony Romo

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops