What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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So a bar walks into a man...

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Read a Book.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops