Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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* two sisters are making yo mama jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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