Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

how man

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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