what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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Whats funny? Your face.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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