Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

a dyslexic man walked his god.

How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...