I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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Women's Soccer.

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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