Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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