A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You're tearing apart, Lisa!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops