Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

why are balck people black because they are

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

He--Hey guys

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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