Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops