I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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