What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops