What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

race-car = rac-ecar

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops