What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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