Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops