my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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HELLO EVERYONE

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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What is the best thing the French ever invent The two piece

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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