Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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WHY DO JEWS HATE GERMANY? THEY DON'T THEY FORGAVE THE NAZIS :-) ( . )( . ) -------

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Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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top kek

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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Fine, ladies first.

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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