What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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