Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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