As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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good looking women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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