Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

What does greg and Ian have in common?

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Fat? Jesse Z

what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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