What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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=3

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops