How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops