An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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you see theres this guy.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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What do you call the Flintstones if they were black? N****rs

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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whats a joke

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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