Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

A guy walks into a bar

OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...