A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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whats 2+2? 4

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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