An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Albino African Americans

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

No antijoke here.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops