Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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