What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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What comes after 23? 24.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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