- Anti Joke

You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

Man U

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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