What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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Hello

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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