q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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One, two, three, four and five

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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