Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A hill billy went fishing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man went skydiving and tragically died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +6

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops