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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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