Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

Man U

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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