A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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