Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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