Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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