A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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