Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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woman's rights

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops