What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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