There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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Why did the pony say neigh? That`s all he can say

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops