Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

thumb_up thumb_down

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down

Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

thumb_up thumb_down

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down

why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

thumb_up thumb_down

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

thumb_up thumb_down

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

thumb_up thumb_down

How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

thumb_up thumb_down

What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

thumb_up thumb_down

Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

thumb_up thumb_down

The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops