Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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here is a good joke... your moms a bitch END OF STORY!

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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