A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I <3 Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -33

roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: How many jews can you fit in a car? A: Well, it varies on the size of the car and the size of the people entering the car so in reality there is no clear answer due to the lack of information given.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Homo say what?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

You know what's gay?? Lesbians

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops