- Anti Joke

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh gasp gasp I need you... Woman: slams phone DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

knock knock Who's there? Will Nealis Will Nealis who? Will nealis continuously finds himself crying himself to sleep as reality begins to smack himn in the face revealing to him that nobody has, does, or ever will like him. He is also informed that the reason his parents left him is because he is such a flaming ginger, his nasty face ruins the atmosphere of any room he walks in to. he has been adopted by a lovely gay couple and he takes after both of his fathers very much, in the aspect of enjoying massive animal c o c k in his mouth as well as having threesomes with his dads. will goes to school everyday and is tormented for being homosexual, so when he goes home hie parents beat him....off and have lemon partys with wills grandpa as he watches and masturbates vigourously.

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

i am a dino. RAWR.

Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

How did the terrorist die? He flew a plane into a twin tower

Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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