Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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swag

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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