what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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if got a joke if fogot it

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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Hellen keller

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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