What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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like most people my age. im 27

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Neither have I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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