Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops